Tag: thoughts

May 5th, 2024

That was the day that I had my last conversation with my Father. I woke up early Sunday morning to get ready for work. At that time, I was working for a high brand retailer. I had my breakfast along with orange juice. I took a walk to the Transit Mall ( major bus stop ) which took me about thirty minutes walk there. I walk slow, and I still do. When I got there, I waited for about fifteen minutes for the bus to arrive. I killed some time by playing my games on my iPhone. When I got on the bus, I was in a gaze by looking out of the window. I told myself that I need to get on the train in the next few days or so. When the bus stop by my work, I step off and went to get my usual drink from Starbucks. After resting awhile at Starbucks, I went to work. At work, in the beginning, it was kind of slow, so I did some small projects here and there before it got busy. It got busy around noon. I did a lot of customer service that day. During my shift, I told myself that I was going to call my Father since it awhile that I last spoke to him. At that time, he was in and out of the hospital due to infection while he had his gallbladder removed. I had my lunch at Fire Wings. After my lunch, I went back to work. It was a roller coaster ride that afternoon. After work, I went to the bus stop and waited for my bus. I killed some time until the bus arrived.  When the bus dropped me off near my house. I called my Father, and we talked for about a good twenty minutes. We talked about baseball but mainly we talked about his health, he told me that he was very optimistic about going home by the end of this week. And that he was going to call me during that weekend. I told him briefly about stocks and he said that he was going to teach me some stock trades. At the end of our conversation, I told him that I love him and his famous words “I love you more.” When I got home, I had my dinner and hang out with my housemates. That was the day, I last spoke to my dad. I think about him every day and I hope he approves on how I have been handling with all of this legal process, my mental process, and what I wanted to do in LIFE. 

The picture in this post was taken by someone in the same area where my dad lived on the very day that I last spoke to him. 

The Long Delay

It looks like I am back but I am not sure it will be an everyday thing. A lot of things had happened since my last blog post.

First, My mother passed away last month on March 20th, 2025 when I got a phone call from the police department where she lives. The story goes that some senior living department down there called my mom several times and she didn’t answer the phone. So they called the police and when they got there, they found her dead. The local police officer had told me what had happened. The officer told me that they took the body to the funeral home. The funeral home didn’t call me for days, and I was a little bit concerned. I tried to get a hold of my brother, we both have the same mother and different fathers. He doesn’t have a cellphone and he is homeless. The other thing I learned about my brother about two or three years ago when my mother told me that my brother was diagnosed with bipolar. At first, he was doing some treatments but it seems like the plan fell apart for him and now currently, he doesn’t take anything for his bipolar. So finally, I called the police officer and asked him for a phone number from the funeral home that my mom was in. So from there, I took care of all of the arrangements. Today, April 17th, 20235 … my mother was buried in her town where she had resided for twenty plus years. She got her wish as being cremated as well. I didn’t go down there because it was too much for me to bear with four family members passed away in the span of three years.

Second, With the advise of my mother when she was alive, my friends, and a stranger told me that it would be BEST for me not to help my brother. When I tried to reach my brother, he had deactivated his Facebook account. I made a small post on Facebook that my mother passed away. Apparently I was friends with one of my brother’s friends. He got a hold of me and I told him what happened. My mom was the only source that my brother can reach out to. A few days later, he messaged me and asking me for money. I completely ignored his request and hoping that he would get the message. I asked my brother about anything of my mom’s final wishes like being cremated or being buried. He and I were on the same page that my mom would like to be cremated. So I told the funeral home what my mother’s final wishes were. I got a message from my brother about wanting money. I was in the bind and not knowing what to say in a simple term fashioned or words in his level. So I called my financial advisor and he gave me some advice on wordings and he was a good listener to me. So about an hour after that phone called, I messaged my brother on Facebook, and simply told him that he needs to take care of himself, and that I can’t give him any money. He was pissed. He went on and on about how selfish I was. I figured that his bipolar talking. In other words, he told me to go fuck myself. I figured he would said something like that. I completely ignored him and if he wants to to talk to me without needing any money, I am there for him on that. Something is odd about small towns, I am sure it because it the way it works for them. I got an email from the funeral home that they finally buried my mother. They sent me a picture and I asked them for a plot number so that I can relay the message to my brother. I told him in the Facebook Messenger, that our mom was cremated and buried. I gave him him the plot number. My brother replied back to me, go fuck yourself. I simply nodded and logged off Facebook.

Lastly, since my mother passed away, I tried to keep myself busy. I was doing some readings, did my family tree, played my games on my phone, watch old tv shows, old movies. I saw my therapist a few times. There were some nights where I stayed up until 230 in the morning and there some nights that I went to bed around midnight. I was in in a normal pace almost a year that my father passed away. It is going to be another hard climb for me to overcome with the death of my mother.

Thank you for your time reading this.